Let's Ask Violet

I’ve found out the hard way that communicating with your significant other is probably the best thing you could ever do.  It really does help with a lot of things.  Here are some tips that will help you with communication.

 

1. Trust that your partner

This is difficult considering that if it’s a new relationship, or if someone in the relationship has been unfaithful, trust is a big issue.  However for communicating to work, you have to make sure that there’s a mutual trust with each other.  Make sure that if the topic you’re telling your partner is an uneasy one, you let them know that it’s difficult for you to express it.

 

2.  Set up ground rules when you’re being honest with each other.

Basically tell your partner when you’re telling them something how you want them to receive it.  Tell them beforehand whether or not you want advice, or for them just to listen.  I’ve had a lot of arguments because of this, and it’s better to just tell them beforehand by saying you just want them to listen to you and not interject with their advice until after you’re done.

 

3.  Don’t interrupt the person talking.

I don’t know if this bothers people, but I hate being talked over, and I hate talking over people.  If you’re on the receiving end of the conversation, wait until your partner is done their thought before speaking.  It’s easy to have a point to talk about, but a lot of the time when they’re talking to you about something, they don’t want to be interrupted.

 

4.  If telling your partner an important piece of information makes you feel uncomfortable, tell your partner right away

I’ve found that putting off something important, whether it be something that hurt your feelings or just something you want to admit to your partner, only causes problems in the long run.  If you have something important to tell your partner, make sure you talk to them about it as soon as possible.  Clearing the air and making sure your feelings are known are the best things you can do for your relationship.

 

5.  Make sure you always let your partner know your feelings, regardless of what they are.

It’s easier to fix a problem if it’s addressed.  If your partner did something that makes you upset, make sure to let them know.  However, let them know gently.  Don’t be angry at them, but let them know that you were hurt.   If your partner did something you like, make sure that you let them know so they can remember.  If you don’t tell them what makes you upset or happy, they won’t know.

 

6.  Always try your best to talk to your partner face to face.

Texting, emails, and Social Networks are probably the worst ways to communicate.  Always try and talk face to face, whether it be video chat or in person.   It may be scary, but it’s the easiest way to be honest.