Let's Ask Violet

Anonymous asked:

I’m a senior and im going to college with my bf next year. We had a great relationship, but recently, we’ve been fighting alot. I feel like he purposely tries to dislike the things I like, such as my Friends and that he tries to make me feel stupid. When I bring an issue up with him he talks me around until I’m the one who feels bad and apologizes. I feel trapped because I love him so much when he is telling me how much he loves me but when he is stressed, he takes it out on me. What should Ido?

Violet responded:

I normally don’t tell people this, but maybe you guys need to take a break from each other.

I personally don’t believe that “breaks” in a relationship are a good thing, but recently I’m discovering that it’s not as bad as I thought. Although it might be a good idea to set the parameters of the break first before saying you should do it.

Sometimes the stress of having a relationship is a little much to handle, especially when school is involved.  Taking a break might help you with the relationship part of it.  Mind you, when you suggest it, be careful to remind them that you love them, and you want this to work, but there’s some obvious stress that needs to be sorted out before you guys can continue.

You can only be the best you can be.  If he starts talking around you, bring it back to the matter at hand.  You shouldn’t have to apologize if you’re bringing up an issue with the relationship.  Also, if he starts to vent at you, tell him you don’t want to be a shoulder to cry on, because you’re way more than just that.  You shouldn’t have to shoulder his problems when he’s upset.

Hopefully this will help.  Good luck.

 

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