Let's Ask Violet

Anonymous asks: Um ok, Violet I have a question. My friend lou has become very fat and he’s constantly boring with him talking about topics that no one cares about for 20 minutes straight. I don’t have the heart to tell him I want to see someone else. What should I do?

Violet replies:

There are multiple options you could do here.  But unfortunately you’re going to end up hurting him regardless.  You could try talking to him about his behavior to see if he’ll try to change his actions around you.   If you do still consider him your friend, and you still want to hang out with him every once in a while, then communication about his actions is the best option because that will show that you’re honest with him. Although if that’s the case, he’s probably going to tell you something that you do that annoys him, and he’ll expect you to change your actions for him as well.  Friendship is just like any relationship out there, and both people need to put effort into it in order for it to work. That being said, you can’t force someone to change who they are, it’s their choice whether or not they want to change.  All you can do is tell them your feelings, but be gentle about it.

If you don’t think you want to be friends with him anymore, then you have to be direct.  It will most likely hurt his feelings, but in the end it is your decision.

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