Tumblr Question #30

by on April 4, 2013 at 4:26 am
Posted In: blog, Blogs

Anonymous asked:

I liked this boy and I told him. He said he likes me too. I’ve never had a boyfriend. So he made me this really pretty necklace for Valentine’s Day. So he’s been pushing me along really fast. He’s been holding my hand during lunch and giving me hugs. It’s been making me really uncomfortable. I feel like he’s using me so he can say he has a girlfriend, but he hasn’t asked me out. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t like him anymore. But I don’t want to feel like I led him on. What do I do?

Violet responded:

If you feel uncomfortable, tell him.  Talking to him about your feelings always helps.  Communication is vital in a relationship.

Also, if you don’t like him anymore, then just end it.  It’s better than leading him on.  Dragging it out will just make it more painful.

 

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Tumblr Question #29

by on April 4, 2013 at 3:24 am
Posted In: blog, Blogs

Anonymous asked:

Hi So there is a guy (I feel so stereotypical already) and obv I like him. Our background has been painful in the sense that he is really bad at replys and bailed a few times when we have organised to meet up. Nothing serious has happened or weve not really progressed far, but in Jan he invited me to a family wedding as a plus one, which is quite a big thing when i think about it. It went really well, then after that weekend he hasnt spoken to me since and never replied to me. what do you think?

Violet responded:

It looks like this guy doesn’t really want to be in a relationship.

You need to ask yourself why he asked you to the wedding as his plus one.  He may have done it to make you happy, or he could have done it so he could have a trophy girlfriend to make himself look better in front of his family.

On top of that, you have to ask if having a flake as a boyfriend is a good thing.  He may have invited you to the wedding, but he didn’t talk to you afterwards?  Inviting you to a wedding IS a big thing.  In my opinion, I don’t think he really wants a relationship.  I think he’s looking for someone to make him look good.

If you feel that he’s worth it, then go and chase him.  He might change for you, or he might not.

If you don’t feel like this is worth it, then you know what you need to do.

 

Have your own question for Violet?  Head on over to eyesofviolet13.tumblr.com and ask your question!

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Tumblr Question #28

by on April 4, 2013 at 2:23 am
Posted In: blog, Blogs

Anonymous asked:

so I met this girl online and known her for 1.5 years now I fell in love with her and she with me we video chatted a few times (3 times) its still another year before we meet I am moving close to her country to study a 2 year course.we have been much problems with trust jealousy and insecurity lot of name calling and other shit she also has doubts whether we will actually click in real life or if she is in way of me meeting someone else I don t know what to do or say to her

Violet responded:

Online relationships are hard to maintain.  Online only relationships are even harder.  A lot of the time, they don’t work.  I know there are a lot of stories that someone “met their dream girl online” or something like that, but there are a lot of online relationships that fail just as often.  Especially since the whole relationship relies on trust.  To be honest, it doesn’t look like your girlfriend trusts you very much.

If you feel like this relationship is worth keeping, then keep it.  Otherwise, it might be best to let her go and find someone else.  It’s harsh, but it’s also the truth.

 

Have your own questions for Violet?  Head on over to eyesofviolet13.tumblr.com and ask your own question!

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Tumblr Question #27

by on April 4, 2013 at 1:19 am
Posted In: blog, Blogs

Anonymous asked:

How do I get over the guilt I’ve been having after I broke up with a guy I was dating? I’ve felt miserable ever since breaking up with him even though it was my decision and I thought it was going to make me feel a lot better. I mean, I don’t regret breaking things off because he’s showed me that he isn’t capable of being my friend, let alone anything else, but I still feel guilty. Help?

Violet responded:

I think everyone who goes through a break-up has some guilt.  Mostly because, especially if you’re not the one who ended it, you feel like you’ve failed the other person.

You ended it for a reason.  You’ve even admitted it.  The thing is, you can’t help him, especially if he’s not willing to change.  You just have to live your life and be happy. You’ve taken the first step, because you’re respecting yourself to not be with someone who doesn’t treat you well.  The person you date needs to be your friend as well.  That’s why they call it a girl/boyfriend.

There’s nothing keeping you to him except yourself.  And from the sounds of it, he doesn’t sound like he’s worth it.  You have to keep telling yourself that you’re worth more than someone to treat you badly.

I also have tips on how to deal with break-ups which you can see here or here.

Don’t give up.  It does get easier.  You’ll stop feeling guilty eventually, you just have to keep at it.

 

Have your own questions for Violet?  Head on over to eyesofviolet13.tumblr.com and ask your own question!

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Tumblr Question #26

by on April 4, 2013 at 12:13 am
Posted In: blog, Blogs

Anonymous asked:

i really like this guy who is in my group of friends. we used to hook up in highschool &then recently this past summer we started hooking up again. i dont know how he feels about me or if i should tell him how i feel b/c we do have the exact same group of friends and i dont want to ruin the dynamics of our friendship. plus i dont think were both mature enough to be in a serious relationship since we are college kids. &im also unsure if he is just using me for sex. should i tell him how i feel?

Violet responded:

Sometimes it’s better not to get into a relationship with a friend.  If you don’t feel like it would be worth getting into a relationship in, then don’t.  You can tell him your feelings, but if you do that you also will have to tell him that you don’t want to ruin the dynamic, or your friendship, if he doesn’t want to get involved in a relationship.

Hopefully he’s not just using you for sex.  And if he is, then it might be best to stop.

 

Have your own questions for Violet? Head on over to eyesofviolet13.tumblr.com and ask your own question!

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